Our little man is just over 3 months old now and I finally feel
ready to sit down and write our birth story. My birth plan kind of
went out the window and I needed time to reflect and take it all in.
There were a couple of things I needed to accept in the midst of all
of the joy, pride, and love. Part 1 of my story goes over how we came
to assemble our "team," which is very important if you want
a natural birth.
If you or someone you know is getting ready to
give birth, particularly if they are on a journey towards a natural,
unmedicated birth, I hope you will read and share my story. As much
as I read and researched, I think reading others' stories helped and
empowered me the most.
Long before I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to give birth without
an epidural or any other "drugs". The reasons for this
evolved throughout my pregnancy. Originally, it was because the idea of a
giant needle in my spine frightened me more than the idea of pain
during labor. I think that was because, deep down, I was never afraid
of giving birth. After the initial "holy crap, we're pregnant?!"
shock, I looked forward to giving birth. One night, we were browsing Netflix and came across
The
Business of Being Born. My husband and I both soaked it all
in.
I couldn't believe what the medical world had done to this
natural and amazing act that women have been performing since the
beginning of time. But I have to say, I was almost guilty of
falling into the medical trap that is today's idea of birth in the
US.
A couple of weeks after the positive pregnancy test, I called up my OB/GYN
thinking that's what you were supposed to do. The receptionist
informed me that I would have to see all 6 doctors in the practice
and any one of them could deliver my baby. This made me very
uncomfortable so I called another practice. This practice was
smaller, with only 2 doctors, both whom were women
(I was not ok
with the idea of a man delivering our baby. I felt I should be
surrounded by women, and my husband, during labor and birth. It's
what felt natural to me). I was very comfortable with the one
doctor, but not the other. So I decided to just bank on the large
chance that my OB would be the one at the birth. Then, we set out to
tour the hospital. Once the tour was over and we walked through those
exit doors, the tears started falling.
I did not feel comfortable
there, for a reason I couldn't pin down, but it was a gut feeling.
Then, after finding out that hospital has an almost
40% C-section
rate, we knew we had to figure something out.
Shortly before that tour, I met with a
doula
(whom we ended up hiring and LOVE). I told her where we were
delivering and she didn't say much about the hospital, but said I was
a great candidate for a natural birth and that we'd work out a plan.
A couple of months go by, and my OB is out on maternity leave. I met
with the nurse practitioner a couple of times, still feeling uneasy.
That horrible feeling that you get when you are surrounded by people
who think they know better than you do. Of course I didn't go to med
school, but when it comes to normal, low-risk pregnancy, I'm telling
you I think med school hurts some people more than it helps.
Ugh.
The day comes where the NP brings up her little check list of things
to ask me at the appointment that week. She skims over "birthing
classes" saying that with an epidural no one really needs those
anymore. I stopped her there and said, "Actually we are planning
a natural birth." Her response? And the
red
flag that caused us to switch practices?
"Well,
you can always change your mind." And I should add that this
woman told me that she didn't have an epidural with her births...so
tell me lady, why the &%#$ can you do it, but I can't? Hm? I
called my doula, who reminded me it wasn't too late to switch
(nearing 31 weeks) so I set out to do my research.
It was then that I discovered the wonderful world of midwifery.
Why in the world I hadn't read about midwives attending hospital
births is beyond me. I thought they were only for home births, and
while it crossed our minds, I just didn't feel that it was for us
(and our home was half-way through
construction).
So now I'm excited and I get a recommendation for a couple of
different midwives at nearby hospitals. (BTW, the hospital I would
have originally delivered at does not have any attending midwives).
Apparently folks were randy in August, because neither hospital could
take any new patients due in May. So a little bit of panic sets in as
I am getting closer to that 40 week mark. Everyone online, including
our doula, recommended a midwife group that's about an hour away (up
to 2 in our lovely Chicago traffic). My husband fully supported us
checking them out because he is awesome and wanted what would be best
for me and our baby. So I emailed the group, and the response from
the head midwife was the first sign that I thought I'd like it there.
She responded like a human being, not a sheep just worried about
covering her own wooly arse.
Yay!
So, we go to a consult with her and we both left feeling a huge
sense of relief and set up our first appointment with
West
Suburban Midwives in Oak Park. This is also a "rotating
practice" with 4 midwives, but knowing they all
shared in our
beliefs and only have a
10% c-section rate, made me
totally comfortable. We'd be driving a few hours to get there and
back every week up until the birth, but it felt worth it and we
didn't hesitate to switch at 31 weeks.
(I will still say that it
was definitely worth it). That night, or maybe the next day, I
emailed our
doula to let her
know we made the switch and she emailed me back telling me she was
doing a happy dance and was so excited and relieved that they were
able to take me. It was a wonderful feeling to have so much support
and like I finally had a "birthing team" like I'd read
about. Before switching, I felt like it was
Team
Duda vs
Team Intervention.
We had to drive to an appointment with a CNM (certified nurse
midwife) each week because I switched so late and they wanted to get
to know me before the birth (and I them). Every appointment felt like
chatting with a supportive friend and I never once felt that they
were in a rush to move on to the next patient. Sometimes, the wait
time could be long (and I only bring this up because I have read it
about them in a few reviews), but I am assuming it is because of the
wonderful conversation they have with their patients that I would
happily trade for that extra wait time now and then.
The midwives deliver at a hospital with regular labor/delivery
rooms as well as what they call the ABC, or Alternative Birthing
Center. This tour made us feel even better
(and while I do not
want to pass judgment, we found it interesting that
everyone on this tour was a very healthy weight and highly energetic,
while at our original hospital tour, everyone except me and one other
woman was dangerously overweight and a few needed wheelchairs at 20
weeks). The ABC rooms are for women who do not want an epidural
and are set up more like a hotel room with a large tub for laboring
and birthing. (I LOVED the idea of laboring in the water but wasn't
set on a water birth, though I wanted to keep my options open and
just let things unfold...which unlike some hospitals, was allowed!).
In order to use these rooms, they require that first time moms
take a birthing class, like
Informed
Beginnings or the
Bradley
Method. We chose an Informed Beginnings class nearby with
Natural
Birth Geneva. Because we were pretty far along and had done TONS
of research up to this point, there were many things that were
review, which never hurts. But, it was great to be surrounded by
people who shared your beliefs and to have someone to talk with face
to face and later classes taught us a LOT, so I do definitely
recommend it. This was one of the ways my reasons for wanting natural
birth evolved. Learning more and more about what exactly they want to
give you and why got our natural birth hopes set in stone.
The
"cascade of interventions," was scary and I refused to fall
into it. And although I did end up needing a little bit of intervention, I stayed strong and with the help of my birth team, did not need or accept more. The more information and affirmation, the better!
I began my maternity leave (and stopped teaching since my leave
took me into the summer and I'm now a work-at-home mom) at 37 weeks
and our class ended only a few days before my EDD (estimated due
date) because our instructor was awesome enough to combine a couple
of classes to fit us in. So we had our midwives, doula, hospital, and
education.
We finally just had Team
Let's Do This! At 40 weeks and a few days, we
waited patiently while folks around us got antsy. At 41 weeks we had
an ultrasound to check my fluid levels and everything looked great.
At 41 weeks and 5 days, contractions began...
***Check back or, better yet, subscribe to read Part 2: The
Birth! including photos and to find out why it didn't exactly go
according to plan.***
This is a subject I am very passionate about and always
open to discussing! If you have comments or questions, please feel
free to leave them below. Or if you feel more comfortable, you can
message me through my
facebook page.
