Our little man is just over 3 months old now and I finally feel
ready to sit down and write our birth story. My birth plan kind of
went out the window and I needed time to reflect and take it all in.
There were a couple of things I needed to accept in the midst of all
of the joy, pride, and love. Part 1 of my story goes over how we came
to assemble our "team," which is very important if you want
a natural birth. If you or someone you know is getting ready to
give birth, particularly if they are on a journey towards a natural,
unmedicated birth, I hope you will read and share my story. As much
as I read and researched, I think reading others' stories helped and
empowered me the most.
Long before I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to give birth without an epidural or any other "drugs". The reasons for this evolved throughout my pregnancy. Originally, it was because the idea of a giant needle in my spine frightened me more than the idea of pain during labor. I think that was because, deep down, I was never afraid of giving birth. After the initial "holy crap, we're pregnant?!" shock, I looked forward to giving birth. One night, we were browsing Netflix and came across The Business of Being Born. My husband and I both soaked it all in. I couldn't believe what the medical world had done to this natural and amazing act that women have been performing since the beginning of time. But I have to say, I was almost guilty of falling into the medical trap that is today's idea of birth in the US.
A couple of weeks after the positive pregnancy test, I called up my OB/GYN thinking that's what you were supposed to do. The receptionist informed me that I would have to see all 6 doctors in the practice and any one of them could deliver my baby. This made me very uncomfortable so I called another practice. This practice was smaller, with only 2 doctors, both whom were women (I was not ok with the idea of a man delivering our baby. I felt I should be surrounded by women, and my husband, during labor and birth. It's what felt natural to me). I was very comfortable with the one doctor, but not the other. So I decided to just bank on the large chance that my OB would be the one at the birth. Then, we set out to tour the hospital. Once the tour was over and we walked through those exit doors, the tears started falling. I did not feel comfortable there, for a reason I couldn't pin down, but it was a gut feeling. Then, after finding out that hospital has an almost 40% C-section rate, we knew we had to figure something out.
Shortly before that tour, I met with a doula (whom we ended up hiring and LOVE). I told her where we were delivering and she didn't say much about the hospital, but said I was a great candidate for a natural birth and that we'd work out a plan. A couple of months go by, and my OB is out on maternity leave. I met with the nurse practitioner a couple of times, still feeling uneasy. That horrible feeling that you get when you are surrounded by people who think they know better than you do. Of course I didn't go to med school, but when it comes to normal, low-risk pregnancy, I'm telling you I think med school hurts some people more than it helps. Ugh. The day comes where the NP brings up her little check list of things to ask me at the appointment that week. She skims over "birthing classes" saying that with an epidural no one really needs those anymore. I stopped her there and said, "Actually we are planning a natural birth." Her response? And the red flag that caused us to switch practices? "Well, you can always change your mind." And I should add that this woman told me that she didn't have an epidural with her births...so tell me lady, why the &%#$ can you do it, but I can't? Hm? I called my doula, who reminded me it wasn't too late to switch (nearing 31 weeks) so I set out to do my research.
It was then that I discovered the wonderful world of midwifery. Why in the world I hadn't read about midwives attending hospital births is beyond me. I thought they were only for home births, and while it crossed our minds, I just didn't feel that it was for us (and our home was half-way through construction). So now I'm excited and I get a recommendation for a couple of different midwives at nearby hospitals. (BTW, the hospital I would have originally delivered at does not have any attending midwives). Apparently folks were randy in August, because neither hospital could take any new patients due in May. So a little bit of panic sets in as I am getting closer to that 40 week mark. Everyone online, including our doula, recommended a midwife group that's about an hour away (up to 2 in our lovely Chicago traffic). My husband fully supported us checking them out because he is awesome and wanted what would be best for me and our baby. So I emailed the group, and the response from the head midwife was the first sign that I thought I'd like it there. She responded like a human being, not a sheep just worried about covering her own wooly arse. Yay!
So, we go to a consult with her and we both left feeling a huge sense of relief and set up our first appointment with West Suburban Midwives in Oak Park. This is also a "rotating practice" with 4 midwives, but knowing they all shared in our beliefs and only have a 10% c-section rate, made me totally comfortable. We'd be driving a few hours to get there and back every week up until the birth, but it felt worth it and we didn't hesitate to switch at 31 weeks. (I will still say that it was definitely worth it). That night, or maybe the next day, I emailed our doula to let her know we made the switch and she emailed me back telling me she was doing a happy dance and was so excited and relieved that they were able to take me. It was a wonderful feeling to have so much support and like I finally had a "birthing team" like I'd read about. Before switching, I felt like it was Team Duda vs Team Intervention.
We had to drive to an appointment with a CNM (certified nurse midwife) each week because I switched so late and they wanted to get to know me before the birth (and I them). Every appointment felt like chatting with a supportive friend and I never once felt that they were in a rush to move on to the next patient. Sometimes, the wait time could be long (and I only bring this up because I have read it about them in a few reviews), but I am assuming it is because of the wonderful conversation they have with their patients that I would happily trade for that extra wait time now and then.
The midwives deliver at a hospital with regular labor/delivery rooms as well as what they call the ABC, or Alternative Birthing Center. This tour made us feel even better (and while I do not want to pass judgment, we found it interesting that everyone on this tour was a very healthy weight and highly energetic, while at our original hospital tour, everyone except me and one other woman was dangerously overweight and a few needed wheelchairs at 20 weeks). The ABC rooms are for women who do not want an epidural and are set up more like a hotel room with a large tub for laboring and birthing. (I LOVED the idea of laboring in the water but wasn't set on a water birth, though I wanted to keep my options open and just let things unfold...which unlike some hospitals, was allowed!).
In order to use these rooms, they require that first time moms take a birthing class, like Informed Beginnings or the Bradley Method. We chose an Informed Beginnings class nearby with Natural Birth Geneva. Because we were pretty far along and had done TONS of research up to this point, there were many things that were review, which never hurts. But, it was great to be surrounded by people who shared your beliefs and to have someone to talk with face to face and later classes taught us a LOT, so I do definitely recommend it. This was one of the ways my reasons for wanting natural birth evolved. Learning more and more about what exactly they want to give you and why got our natural birth hopes set in stone. The "cascade of interventions," was scary and I refused to fall into it. And although I did end up needing a little bit of intervention, I stayed strong and with the help of my birth team, did not need or accept more. The more information and affirmation, the better!
I began my maternity leave (and stopped teaching since my leave took me into the summer and I'm now a work-at-home mom) at 37 weeks and our class ended only a few days before my EDD (estimated due date) because our instructor was awesome enough to combine a couple of classes to fit us in. So we had our midwives, doula, hospital, and education. We finally just had Team Let's Do This! At 40 weeks and a few days, we waited patiently while folks around us got antsy. At 41 weeks we had an ultrasound to check my fluid levels and everything looked great. At 41 weeks and 5 days, contractions began...
***Check back or, better yet, subscribe to read Part 2: The Birth! including photos and to find out why it didn't exactly go according to plan.***
This is a subject I am very passionate about and always open to discussing! If you have comments or questions, please feel free to leave them below. Or if you feel more comfortable, you can message me through my facebook page.
Long before I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to give birth without an epidural or any other "drugs". The reasons for this evolved throughout my pregnancy. Originally, it was because the idea of a giant needle in my spine frightened me more than the idea of pain during labor. I think that was because, deep down, I was never afraid of giving birth. After the initial "holy crap, we're pregnant?!" shock, I looked forward to giving birth. One night, we were browsing Netflix and came across The Business of Being Born. My husband and I both soaked it all in. I couldn't believe what the medical world had done to this natural and amazing act that women have been performing since the beginning of time. But I have to say, I was almost guilty of falling into the medical trap that is today's idea of birth in the US.
A couple of weeks after the positive pregnancy test, I called up my OB/GYN thinking that's what you were supposed to do. The receptionist informed me that I would have to see all 6 doctors in the practice and any one of them could deliver my baby. This made me very uncomfortable so I called another practice. This practice was smaller, with only 2 doctors, both whom were women (I was not ok with the idea of a man delivering our baby. I felt I should be surrounded by women, and my husband, during labor and birth. It's what felt natural to me). I was very comfortable with the one doctor, but not the other. So I decided to just bank on the large chance that my OB would be the one at the birth. Then, we set out to tour the hospital. Once the tour was over and we walked through those exit doors, the tears started falling. I did not feel comfortable there, for a reason I couldn't pin down, but it was a gut feeling. Then, after finding out that hospital has an almost 40% C-section rate, we knew we had to figure something out.
Shortly before that tour, I met with a doula (whom we ended up hiring and LOVE). I told her where we were delivering and she didn't say much about the hospital, but said I was a great candidate for a natural birth and that we'd work out a plan. A couple of months go by, and my OB is out on maternity leave. I met with the nurse practitioner a couple of times, still feeling uneasy. That horrible feeling that you get when you are surrounded by people who think they know better than you do. Of course I didn't go to med school, but when it comes to normal, low-risk pregnancy, I'm telling you I think med school hurts some people more than it helps. Ugh. The day comes where the NP brings up her little check list of things to ask me at the appointment that week. She skims over "birthing classes" saying that with an epidural no one really needs those anymore. I stopped her there and said, "Actually we are planning a natural birth." Her response? And the red flag that caused us to switch practices? "Well, you can always change your mind." And I should add that this woman told me that she didn't have an epidural with her births...so tell me lady, why the &%#$ can you do it, but I can't? Hm? I called my doula, who reminded me it wasn't too late to switch (nearing 31 weeks) so I set out to do my research.
It was then that I discovered the wonderful world of midwifery. Why in the world I hadn't read about midwives attending hospital births is beyond me. I thought they were only for home births, and while it crossed our minds, I just didn't feel that it was for us (and our home was half-way through construction). So now I'm excited and I get a recommendation for a couple of different midwives at nearby hospitals. (BTW, the hospital I would have originally delivered at does not have any attending midwives). Apparently folks were randy in August, because neither hospital could take any new patients due in May. So a little bit of panic sets in as I am getting closer to that 40 week mark. Everyone online, including our doula, recommended a midwife group that's about an hour away (up to 2 in our lovely Chicago traffic). My husband fully supported us checking them out because he is awesome and wanted what would be best for me and our baby. So I emailed the group, and the response from the head midwife was the first sign that I thought I'd like it there. She responded like a human being, not a sheep just worried about covering her own wooly arse. Yay!
So, we go to a consult with her and we both left feeling a huge sense of relief and set up our first appointment with West Suburban Midwives in Oak Park. This is also a "rotating practice" with 4 midwives, but knowing they all shared in our beliefs and only have a 10% c-section rate, made me totally comfortable. We'd be driving a few hours to get there and back every week up until the birth, but it felt worth it and we didn't hesitate to switch at 31 weeks. (I will still say that it was definitely worth it). That night, or maybe the next day, I emailed our doula to let her know we made the switch and she emailed me back telling me she was doing a happy dance and was so excited and relieved that they were able to take me. It was a wonderful feeling to have so much support and like I finally had a "birthing team" like I'd read about. Before switching, I felt like it was Team Duda vs Team Intervention.
We had to drive to an appointment with a CNM (certified nurse midwife) each week because I switched so late and they wanted to get to know me before the birth (and I them). Every appointment felt like chatting with a supportive friend and I never once felt that they were in a rush to move on to the next patient. Sometimes, the wait time could be long (and I only bring this up because I have read it about them in a few reviews), but I am assuming it is because of the wonderful conversation they have with their patients that I would happily trade for that extra wait time now and then.
The midwives deliver at a hospital with regular labor/delivery rooms as well as what they call the ABC, or Alternative Birthing Center. This tour made us feel even better (and while I do not want to pass judgment, we found it interesting that everyone on this tour was a very healthy weight and highly energetic, while at our original hospital tour, everyone except me and one other woman was dangerously overweight and a few needed wheelchairs at 20 weeks). The ABC rooms are for women who do not want an epidural and are set up more like a hotel room with a large tub for laboring and birthing. (I LOVED the idea of laboring in the water but wasn't set on a water birth, though I wanted to keep my options open and just let things unfold...which unlike some hospitals, was allowed!).
In order to use these rooms, they require that first time moms take a birthing class, like Informed Beginnings or the Bradley Method. We chose an Informed Beginnings class nearby with Natural Birth Geneva. Because we were pretty far along and had done TONS of research up to this point, there were many things that were review, which never hurts. But, it was great to be surrounded by people who shared your beliefs and to have someone to talk with face to face and later classes taught us a LOT, so I do definitely recommend it. This was one of the ways my reasons for wanting natural birth evolved. Learning more and more about what exactly they want to give you and why got our natural birth hopes set in stone. The "cascade of interventions," was scary and I refused to fall into it. And although I did end up needing a little bit of intervention, I stayed strong and with the help of my birth team, did not need or accept more. The more information and affirmation, the better!
I began my maternity leave (and stopped teaching since my leave took me into the summer and I'm now a work-at-home mom) at 37 weeks and our class ended only a few days before my EDD (estimated due date) because our instructor was awesome enough to combine a couple of classes to fit us in. So we had our midwives, doula, hospital, and education. We finally just had Team Let's Do This! At 40 weeks and a few days, we waited patiently while folks around us got antsy. At 41 weeks we had an ultrasound to check my fluid levels and everything looked great. At 41 weeks and 5 days, contractions began...
***Check back or, better yet, subscribe to read Part 2: The Birth! including photos and to find out why it didn't exactly go according to plan.***
This is a subject I am very passionate about and always open to discussing! If you have comments or questions, please feel free to leave them below. Or if you feel more comfortable, you can message me through my facebook page.
